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Posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the six o'clock news. The main story is a man threatening to jump off the Clifton Suspension Bridge on to the busy road below.
Posh turns to Becks and says: David, I bet you 5,000 that he jumps!" to which Beckham replies 5,000? Done! I bet that he doesn't." So they shake hands on the bet and continue watching.
Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud. Beckham takes 5,000 out of his back pocket and hands it to Posh. But she refuses. "I can't take your money, David," she says. The truth is, I was cheating. I saw the five o'clock news, so I knew he was going to jump."
No, babe, fair's fair" says David. "That money is yours fair and square - I was cheating just as you were. I saw the five o'clock news, too. I just didn't think he would do it again."
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David and Victoria Beckham were on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. Posh wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, David shouted, 'Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!' The shopkeeper said, 'By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!'
Determined, David and Posh turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching an alligator. Later in the day, the shop keeper is driving home, when he spots Beckham standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 30 foot alligator swimming quickly toward him. He takes aim, kills the creature and, with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.
Just then Becks flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, 'B******s, this one isn't wearing any either!'
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Posh takes her car into a garage to have some dents removed. The mechanic knowing she isn't the brightest Spice Girl in the world, decides to play a joke on her. "You don't need me to take those dents out, "he says. "Just blow up the exhaust pipe and the metal will pop back into place". So she takes the car home and tries it. David spots her from the house and shouts "You silly cow! You have to wind the windows up first!"
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David Beckham is celebrating: "57 days, 57 days!" he shouts happily. Posh asks him why he is celebrating. He answers: "Well, I've done this jigsaw in only 57 days." Is that good?" asks Posh. "You bet," says David. "It says 3 to 5 years on the box."
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Victoria Beckham and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the cow was killed. Posh told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily. "What happened?" asked Posh. Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me." "My God, what did you tell them?" asked Posh. The driver replied: "I'm Victoria Beckham's driver, and I just killed the cow."
