1."I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and Stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
2."IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, And you have no chance at all of making it logical".
3."CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
4."UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
5."IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."
6."I WAS LISTENING TO YOU, IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
7."TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
8."THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"
9."YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of The first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of Every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
10."I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
11."OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death Before I admit that I'm hurt."
12."HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
13."I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
14."WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"
15."I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am Hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't Spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
16."YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
17."YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
18."I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
19."WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."