An octupus walked into a bar where an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sat drinking.
The Octopus stood in the middle of the bar and said I bet you £100 I can play any instrument better than you have ever heard it being played before.
The Englishman didn't believe him so passed the octopus a guitar. The octopus starts playing the guitar and sounds as good as Hendrix.
Next, the Irishman wheels out a piano. The Octopus sits down at it, and sounds better than Elton.
Amazed the Scotsman passes the octopus a set of bagpipes. After a few minutes fumbling around the Scotsman says "What's the problem can ye nae play it?" to which the octopus replies:
"Play it? Once I've figured out how to get the pyjamas off I'm going to fuck its brains out!"