A man gets a bionic arm the doctors tell him that anything he wants it to do, just say so. He is hesitant to use it at first, but one day in the bathroom, his good hand is full of papers, so after pissing, he says "Shake off my penis". The hand does so.
"Oh, that felt kind of good. Do it harder" and the and does it harder.
"Oh what the heck, jerk it off," and the hand rips off his penis.
Angry at his own stupidity, he yells "Oh, fuck me," and the hand shoves his penis up his anus. In a state of disbelief, he yells "Look at that shit" so the hand pulls his penis back out and shoves it in his eye.