Teacher to class: "Right class today is Thursday, so we're going to have a general knowledge pop quiz. The pupil who gets the answer right can have Friday off and not come back until Tuesday."

Jocky (the class mink) thinks, 'brill ahm ace at ma general knowledge.'

Teacher: "Right class, who can tell me who said. 'Don't ask what your country can do for you , but what you can do for your country'?

Jocky shoots up his hand

Teacher looking round: "Yes Jeremy?"

Jeremy (in English accent): "Yes miss, the answer is J F Kennedy's inauguration speech 1960."

Teacher: "Very good Jeremy. You may come back on Tuesday."

Next Thursday comes around, and Jocky is even more determined.

Teacher: "Who said. 'We will fight them on the beaches , we will fight them in the air, we will fight them at sea. But we will never surrender'?"

Jocky shoots up his hand, shouting "I know, I know!"

Teacher (looking round): "Yes Timothy?"

Timothy (In posher English accent): "Yes miss, the answer is Winston Churchill, 1941 Battle of Britain speech."

Teacher: "Very good timothy , you may come back on Tuesday."

The following Thursday comes around, and Jocky is very vexed.

Teacher: "Who said 'One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind'?"

Jocky jumps up and down with both hands in the air, and yells, "I know, I know!!!"

Teacher (looking round the class): "Yes Rupert?" Rupert (In frightfully plumy English accent): "Yes miss that was Neil Armstrong, 1967, The first moon landing."

Teacher: "Very good Rupert you may come back on Tuesday."

Jocky finally loses the plot, and blurts out, "WHERE THE F**K DID ALL THESE ENGLISH C**NTS COME FROM?"

The teacher looks round the class, and yelps, "Who the hell said that?"

Jocky stands back up and abruptly states: "Bonnie Prince Charlie, Culloden, 1746. SEE YA TUESDAY!"