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Thinge We Have Learnt From Porn

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with a big load of sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, bald, middle- aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy when fucking.

11. People in the 70's couldn't shag unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real....(NOT)

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly hard on a on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile broadly.

17. Asian men simply don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There really is a plot.... some where

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her big slaps on the arse.

21. All nurses suck patients cocks.

22. Men always pull out and spurt cum all over the woman.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches ... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Arseholes are scrupulously clean.

27. A man blowing cum on a woman's arse or tits is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.......OH MY!!!! What is this?????

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip....




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