What people of different sexes say, and what they actually mean ...

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No. 2. No = Yes. 3. Maybe = No. 4. I'm sorry = You'll be sorry. 5. We need = I want. 6. It's your decision = The correct decision should obvious by now. 7. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. 8. We need to talk = I need to complain. 9. Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to. 10. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! 11. You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. 12. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? 14. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. 15. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like. 16. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. 17. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. 18. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me. 19. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead.

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I'm hungry = I'm hungry. 2. I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy. 3. I'm tired = I'm tired. 4. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you tonight. 5. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you tonight. 6. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you that night. 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you tonight. 8. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 9. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you tonight. 10. What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question? 11. I'm bored = Do you want to have sex? 12. I love you = Let's have sex right now. 13. I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! 14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. 15. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. 16. I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay.