# A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

# Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

# A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one-dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two-dollar item that she doesn't want.

# To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

# A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

# Men marry because they are tired. Women marry because they are curious.

# A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

# A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her. A man, of the woman who he didn't.

# There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman, Before marriage and After marriage.

# Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

# Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

# Any married man should forget his mistakes. No sense two people remembering the same thing.

# A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.